Tuesday, March 22, 2011

No Blue Monday for this writer...

During a typical evening in my humble little abode, and after I knock off work, I amuse myself by watching some fav cable shows, usually science, history, or news… geeky stuff mostly, I guess. Or I read… or watch TV and read during commercials… or snooze in the recliner. I occasionally interrupt this rigorous schedule to check my email. I had forgotten the recent message reminding me that the winners of the eLit Book Awards would be announced yesterday. I read the competition details before checking the list of winners.

Finally, I scrolled down the page to the Autobiography/Memoir awards and was blissfully happy to see my memoir, Living on the Sunny Side, next to Gold! I entered on a lark (never hurts to try, right?), figuring that even a bronze award would help with the never-ending promotion all writers must endure… or watch their books die a slow and painful death! I didn’t dare hope for Gold!

Living on the Sunny Side has received two 5-star reviews (one on Amazon for the original print version, one on Smashwords for the more recently updated ebook) and four 4-star reviews on Amazon. Maybe, I thought, it has a chance.

From the Web page:

The first-annual eLit Awards are global awards program committed to illuminating and honoring the very best of English language digital publishing entertainment. 

The 2010 eLit Awards were created as industry wide, unaffiliated awards program open to all members of the electronic publishing industry.

The contest is presented by Jenkins Group Inc., a Michigan-based book publishing and marketing services company that has operated the popular Independent Publisher Book Awards contest since 1996.

The eLit Awards celebrate the ever growing market of electronic publishing in the wide variety of reader formats. Hail the revolutionary world of e-books and join the awards program that’s highlighting the best in electronic reading entertainment!

When I became (evidently) permanently unemployed in late 2007, I devoted most of my time to learning to be a freelance writer, taking an online class in proofreading to help me become a better editor, writing my memoir, and last (and in this case, least instead of ‘but not least’) a POD publisher. The publishing business was mostly to publish my own books and perhaps an occasional book for a friend or two. Of necessity, I also learned how to design and format manuscripts as required for submissions/queries to publishers; for print versions; and eventually for ebooks.

There were small successes along the way, mostly from freelance writing, editing, and design. Promoting my memoir took a back seat to earning some cold, hard cash when I started to get some steady work. The other books I wanted to write remained at the very bottom of the to-do list.

Now, the recognition this award could bring has motivated me, big time, to get back to work on the real story of my father’s side of the family. I’ve thought about this book for a while, first deciding to create a novel based on the actual history. But it just didn’t feel right. I was uncomfortable describing Grandma Jenny’s life—it would need to be a bit more erotic than I’m comfortable writing, which wouldn’t bother me as much if it wasn’t about actual relatives—described in detail in more than sixteen single-spaced pages of notes and two completed first-draft chapters my parents wrote when they learned my father was dying. I felt somewhat guilty putting words in the mouths of people I never knew, words from my own mind/fantasies, and describing the corresponding actions. Did the research. Traced the family tree back as far as I could. Put it aside.

Just recently, I nixed the fact-based novel genre and have come up with a possibly viable approach, using my parents notes and adding the results of my research and my own insights. (I’m almost convinced I’m grandma’s reincarnated self, or am at least channeling her. The similarities are amazing. I just have been significantly better behaved.) We’ll see how that works out. But at least I’m motivated now to see what I can come up with so I can finally complete The Notorious Mrs. Dauber.

And if I get stuck… I’m much more motivated to work on the other bottom-of-the-list projects, especially now that I understand they may work best as ebooks.

It has taken me close to four years to see anything ahead in this long dark tunnel, anything but pitch black. Little by little, another speck of light appears in the distance. Then another. And another…

I’m convinced that the keys to success in anything include learning the trade/craft you want to practice; having some basic abilities and a strong drive to learn to improve them; and allowing yourself to ‘march to a different drummer’ when necessary. But most important, as a writer, is probably to develop a thick skin, a lot of patience, and the tenacity to keep trying for as long as it takes!

Oh, yeah! And it’s helpful if you can talk yourself out of the occasional depression when you believe the “muse” has abandoned you!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Secrets? Our Government? You Bet!

Whether you voted for the first time in 2008 or 2010, or have voted in every election in the last fifty years, you’ve probably noticed that there can be a huge disparity between what the candidates say when they’re campaigning and what they actually do if they’re unfortunate enough to get elected. I finally decided that they’re all just liars, and (as Aristotle or one of the Greek philosophers asserted) will say whatever it is they believe you want to hear to get you to vote for them.

Something else I’ve wondered about is exactly how much candidates really understand about the job… like what really goes on in the inner sanctums of government, who really runs things, how are decisions really made and who, ultimately, makes them. Is this democracy business really what we believe it to be, or is it just the ‘public face’ of our government? What are the secrets, if there are any, that newly elected presidents don’t find out about until after they are sworn in?

On March 15, a program on History International addressed some of those questions, but didn’t necessarily answer them. They are, after all, government secrets. The title of the show? The President’s Book of Secrets.

It never actually verified that there is a physical book of secrets, but did reveal that there are many things the candidates we love to love… or to hate… only find out about after they take the oath of office. There were, however, examples or hints throughout the program. For example, I learned that when George W. Bush, our 43rd president, left office and Barack Obama entered the Oval Office for the first time as the president, the only thing on the desk was a sealed envelope addressed only to “44”. The contents of the letter from “43” to “44” were not revealed, nor was whether it was “Eyes Only” for “44”. Unless you happen to be one of the very few who will ever be elected to the office of President of the United States, you’ll never find out. For the other 300 million+ of us, it will likely remain a secret forever.

The narrator pondered as to whether or not the letter included information regarding the location of The President’s Book of Secrets or if there actually is such a book.

Here’s one that is relevant right now, with the battle to slash the budget to almost nothing or finance anything that will help the nation’s recovery. There evidently is (or at least, might be) something called the Black Budget, which is the part of the President’s budget that congress never gets to see. It’s used for secret projects, research facilities, secret experiments. There are lots of code names. Some of them even the President doesn’t know about until the last moment or only when it becomes absolutely necessary. According to the program, it’s approximately $30-$40 billion annually!

I took as many notes as I could, but as you may have noticed in school, when you’re writing  notes, you’re quite likely to miss the bit that will definitely be on the next exam. So here’s a question I did write down, although I didn’t manage to get the answer, assuming there was one: Is there a hidden/secret group of people who function independent of the President and others in the government? That’s something else I’ve wondered about over the years: Who is really pulling the strings? Who’s really in charge, if push comes to shove? Alas, no answer was forthcoming.

Evidently, the president (and perhaps others) can never say that there is a secret book. It should always be “If there is a book of secrets…” The president, we were told, must never trust anyone. If he wants to trust someone, he should get a dog. That explains why so many of our presidents appeared to be animal lovers!

Another question raised was whether or not there are hidden requirements for the office of president… like college friendships, especially those at Yale. Memberships in organizations like the Masons, or Yale’s Skull & Bones… all of which can provide access to power, money, people all because of the associations. There is probably not a conspiracy, according to the program, but a lot of Skull & Bones members are picked by presidents for important government positions.

There was a lot of stuff about the Secret Service. Evidently the only time the president and his family are ever alone is when they go to the bathroom or when they’re in their private quarters. Even then, they are guarded from outside the White House. We heard a lot about the preparations for even a casual visit in a close friend’s home. Past presidents and “44” have said they felt like they were locked in a ‘golden cage’ in the White House.

I worked at the airport for quite a while and watched many presidential arrivals. Preparations started a couple of days before the president arrived. If anyone had missed the news about our chief executive’s visit, one only had to drive past the airport and see the huge, gray transport plane sitting on the tarmac. The Secret Service and FBI spent their time checking everything and everyone within the airport perimeters. On the day Air Force One arrived, traffic was completely stopped in every direction, on every road of the president’s main route and a few surrounding routes, just in case there was an emergency that required a quick change in plans.

If you happened to be heading for work and were unable to arrive on time because all the roads were blocked… well, be thankful for your cell phone! Fortunately, the managers knew where you were and why you weren’t at work. Once, I just barely made it on time. When I arrived, the gates to our facility were locked down and an armed guard was reluctant to let me in until I showed him my ID and he confirmed my identity and legitimacy.

Fortunately, a lot of the people I worked with were ex-military who had knowledge of these things. When the president’s plane landed… well, it was awesome! We could only look through the glass wall that faced the runway and the official “parking space” of this display of American power.

When I watched the whole thing the first time, I was standing next to an ex-Marine friend, who explained to me all the vehicles that were disgorged from the belly of the huge transport. There were several buses for the press corps, and a long line of what appeared to be ordinary black SUVs. Of course, the whole thing was guarded by probably every policeman or state trooper who wasn’t home sick (and no, I don’t remember all the details).

What I learned was that among those heavily-armored black SUVs were “war wagons” ready to take on just about any attack one could imagine, just like Air Force One. What I learned from the program was that there is what amounts to a mini-hospital too, equipped to deal with almost any presidential emergency. Another friend who had worked for the Secret Service told me about how they go about the business of protecting the president when he travels.

Presidential travel is a very big deal, made even bigger when something like the September 11 attack on the Twin Towers happens. We learned how many secure bunkers there are all over the country but, of course, nothing about where they are. They did use a graphic to show the location of the bunker in D.C. where the vice president hangs out when there’s a threat.

There was a mini-tour of the briefing room, which started out many years ago as a small but secured office and has now grown to a very large and high-tech facility, where it is staffed 24/7/365 by people monitoring… stuff.

The physical and mental health of the president is top secret, totally hidden from the public, and especially from enemies that might take advantage of the situation. The president has a private armored suite in Bethesda.

Another question raised but not answered: Are there records about UFOs sightings and/or landings? Aliens that are already amongst us? Sorry folks, that’s top secret too, I guess!

The “nuclear football” always goes everywhere the president goes. During the transition from one president to another, there are two of them—one for the departing president and one for the incoming one… just in case we have to nuke somebody during the inaugural parade or festivities.

Is there really a book of secrets? The program points out that only five living people know for sure—our current president and the four living past presidents.

I wish I’d had a DVR, but the DVD is available in the History Channel Store for $19.95 which I plan to order on payday. I did get my questions answered (and more) despite my scanty notes.

The narrator pointed out that during their campaigns, presidential candidates may actually be expressing what they really feel is the right thing to do for the country. Sometimes, they might be lying because they know that if they told you their actual agendas, no one would ever vote for them. Either way, it isn’t until after the inauguration that he learns the secrets about the government and how it works, everything he did not know until he stepped into the Oval Office shortly after becoming president.

Try as he might to make good on his promises, the secret hidden government evidently quickly lets him know that they could not, would not, simply will not allow it—for reasons they will never share with us.

My advice? Cut ‘em a little slack in the future. Understand that while the president might be “the most powerful leader in the world,” even his strings are very possibly being pulled by parties unknown, and are likely to remain that way.

No wonder the gray hair starts to show up so soon after they are sworn in. Presumably, they had an idea of what they were getting into when they made the decision to run for office. But they didn’t learn about the secrets until it was too late!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Geology, Nuclear Power, & Politics

Here’s my true confession: I went through a great many years as uninformed about really important stuff as most of us are. It took me a long time to acquire a basic understanding of the planet we live on.

Born in Hollywood, California (which didn’t really exist until 2005, when Los Angeles officially recognized it as a distinct neighborhood), my widowed mother and I lived in Burbank. In our frequent trips to the beach or, more often, to the orthodontist’s office in Beverly Hills, I looked longingly at the beautiful houses perched on or near the tops of the hills along our route. One day, after a particularly rainy “monsoon season,” I noticed that most of the houses on one hill were gone, and the ground upon which they had stood was bare of not just the houses, but all vegetation as well.

Over time, I began to notice that new homes were being built on the same ground that had collapsed. I asked mom if the new houses would slide down the hill too. “Probably, sooner or later,” she told me.

“Why,” I asked, “do they do that if they know the houses will slide down the hill again?”

Beyond some mildly rude comments about the intelligence of the builders' decisions, she had no answer for me. This precocious kid pondered the weighty question for many years. Mom’s answer would have to suffice for a while.

Earthquakes were just part of life in southern California. At the time of the Arvin-Tehachapi earthquake [magnitude 7.7] in 1952, mom and I were sharing a bedroom—twin beds; wheels on the bed frame resting on the polished wood floor. It was close enough to Los Angeles that we certainly felt it. I wasn’t afraid. But I was startled when, in the middle of the night, both beds started rolling around in what I remember as circles on the wood floor. Actually, I thought it was a kind of fun ride! Mom stayed calm and told me to stay in bed until the shaking stopped.

Smaller earthquakes and barely detectable tremors were not unusual. The Arvin-Tehachapi quake was just more spectacular. Of course, we had regular earthquake drills in school so I was aware of the possibility. Over the years, I became quite good at predicting earthquakes. I know scientists have studied why animals and some people know when an earthquake is imminent, but have no idea whether they’ve ever been able to fully explain it. There’s just something about the air… animals behave strangely, it seems to be quieter, more still, thicker, heavier than usual…

In the mid-1970s, I worked for a non-profit company that published scientific journals. My only job was transcribing tapes dictated by scientists, who usually had thick foreign accents. Some tapes were index entries of chemicals compounds; others were abstracts of studies and papers on a variety of subjects, including nuclear power plants. That was more than thirty years ago, and what I learned was shocking and terrifying. There were articles about the cracks in the buildings containing the nuclear reactors; malfunctioning equipment; human errors; etc. I don’t remember all the problems the abstracts addressed or whether remedies were proposed. My takeaway: using nuclear power to generate electricity was scary and possibly had been undertaken prematurely, before anybody actually knew what they were doing, or understood the consequences of not getting it right the first time.

In the late 1970s, my husband applied for and got a job in Denver as a music teacher. In 1980, I applied for and got a clerical job in a division office of a major oil company. I would be working with geologists and geophysicists, about whom I knew a little less than nothing. I couldn’t imagine what they did or, for that matter, what I would be doing. I found out very quickly.

I worked in the Western Division, where the primary mission was to identify possible oil reserves, propose drilling the most promising ones, buy land leases, and track the day-to-day details of the drilling. My first assignment was to retype an edited manual for newly hired, fresh out of college geoscientists. They came to the job knowledgeable about geology, but with no idea about how to explore for oil then get it out of the ground, despite their masters or doctorate degrees. The manual I retyped was a review of some basic geology concepts, and a lot about how to apply what they learned in school to the work the company expected of them.

Something I’ve always really enjoyed about typing or editing other people’s stuff is that I learn a lot from it. Typing that manual taught me about something I had never thought about: how dynamic our little corner of the universe, our ‘blue’ planet, really is. I was off and running. And I was in love. With geology.

As quickly as I could find a school to attend and get my request for tuition reimbursement approved, I enrolled. The only boring required class I took was statistical analysis. Otherwise… well, let’s just say that my love affair with the subject has never diminished. Within three months in my new job, I was promoted to geological technician.

In school, I learned about paleogeography; about plate tectonics and how the original land mass split apart and drifted around the planet to form continents familiar to us today; and how some plates collided into others to form mountain ranges like the Himalayas. We studied volcanoes and how eruptions and shifting plates formed the Hawaiian islands. In other words, I learned how dynamic and ever-changing this little planet is.

Because the school was located at the foot of the eastern slope of the Front Range of the Rocky mountains, just east of the Hogback, we were only minutes and a short bus ride away from mini-field trips where we could see and touch much of what we had read about in class. We went on longer field trips, and hiked to the top of a few mountains to see stromatolites up-close and personal. We traveled the state to see the sand dunes, search for fossils, explore marble quarries. We panned for gold and peeked into a tiny hole where we could see rubies ‘growing.’ It was one of the most exciting learning experiences I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a few!

One unanticipated payoff: now, whether I’m flying or driving cross-country, I have an infinitely better understanding of what I’m looking at and what earth forces made it look that way. And recently, our little planet has been an excellent reminder of how dynamic it can be.

I’ve watched the events in Japan with horror about the magnitude of the damage from the main shock and the aftershocks and, of course, the unbelievable power of the tsunami. Unlike people in other recent natural disasters, the Japanese people understand that help is on the way, but are surprised and grateful when teams from the U.S. and around the world actually show up to help them. They have suffered horribly, but wait patiently—the pain of missing loved ones obvious in their faces. There does not seem to be much, if any, looting or violence. They are desperate but quiet in their desperation. They have my utmost respect.

But always in a tiny corner in the back of my mind is my limited knowledge of geology and first-hand knowledge of geoscientists, and I share some of what their reactions must be. They are as horrified by the events as anyone, and I would bet money that the nuclear physicists and nuclear reactor designers are significantly less calm than they appear to be during the endless appearances on our 24-hour news broadcasts. They may have ideas of how to do something about the four possible meltdowns and increasing levels of radiation released into the atmosphere, but they don’t really know what to do about it. It’s a learning experience for them too.

For the earth scientists, at least, there is a bit of a conflict too. I saw it first-hand when Mount St. Helens blew exactly eighteen days after I started my job. I, innocent that I was, was horrified—both by the eruption and by the reaction of the scientists with whom I worked. They love to see this stuff when it actually happens. Until then, they can only theorize about it, and examine the results of similar events that happened eons ago. If they can’t see it in person, they can watch it from all angles, on video, analyze what happened and, with luck, eventually understand enough to predict future events. They may be as horrified by the event, but they’re thrilled with the new knowledge it makes possible

No one understands enough about earthquakes yet to predict when they might happen. The best they can do is estimate the probably of one along a certain known fault within x number of years, based on studies of core samples taken from known active faults and the time intervals between earthquakes in the past. The San Andreas Fault in California might experience a major quake in the next thirty years, for example.

The recent events in New Zealand, in Chile, in Haiti remind me of the consequences of some of our actions, things like building homes over and over again on hills that collapse over and over again. Or building nuclear power plants directly over identified major faults, or in Japan—one of the most active, earthquake-prone, heavily populated places on earth.

When we do things like forgetting our history (or, in this case, our planet’s history), the nuclear power experts build the highest concentration of nuclear facilities in the U.S. within five to six or seven hundred miles of a major earthquake fault in the heartland, the New Madrid fault, that produced several powerful earthquakes in 1811 and 1812. The largest of them rang church bells on the east coast!

Something else I pay attention to are expert opinions. In everything from technology to the food we eat to religious beliefs, there are experts that believe they have the final word on… pick your topic. They believed that the earth was flat; that the sun circled the earth; that plagues and epidemics were God’s punishment for evil. In the time of Columbus, they believed that they could reach China by sailing directly west out of Spain. They believed that Earth was the only planet in the heavens and the moon and stars were there for navigation; to signal monsoon and planting seasons; and to light the night skies.

Whether we’re talking about geosciences, prescription drugs, earthquakes, or nuclear power plants, I simply do not believe that we know everything there is to know about much of anything. And even if we did, we live in a society that is reactive, not proactive. That means that here in the U.S., with our current political mess, we will wait until after a major earthquake or other catastrophic event kills hundreds or thousands of people, or causes meltdowns in our own nuclear power plants, before we seriously consider fixing infrastructure that could have prevented horrendous problems if done in a timely manner.

But politics is politics and politicians’ priorities have little or nothing to do with keeping our country, its economy, or its people safe. Don’t be looking for anything proactive unless or until the conditions in our country become more important than the self-interests of elected officials.

As of this morning, I learned about the steps taken in other countries to shut down some nuclear power plants, or at least take preventative measures before problems arise. In the U.S., our elected officials don’t want us to make snap judgments about their desire to  build more nuclear power plants… You can almost hear them assuring us that “it could never happen here.” They seem to have forgotten Three Mile Island, Chernobyl, and will no doubt forget Japan just as quickly. After all, the big power companies that seem to own so many of them want it that way. Personal power and money trump all.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Fighting Back, Part II

That was only the beginning [see Part I]. Even after I dumbed down my résumé and reduced a lifetime of experience to a few bullet points, hiring managers read between the lines and immediately branded me with the overqualified word. When I told them I had a steady income from SS and would not need medical coverage… even when I told them I would be perfectly willing to work for significantly less than my last salary, I got the same answer: “I’m sure you could do the work very well, but you’d probably leave as soon as something better came along.”

“No, sir/ma’am, I probably wouldn’t. I want something long-term, preferably part-time, to supplement the income I already have so I can work on being a freelance writer.”

“Well, of course, that’s what everyone says and it would just cost us too much to hire and train you, then have you turn around and leave. I just can’t take the chance.”

One employer gave me the same story, then offered me a consulting gig to redesign a restaurant chain’s training manuals and cookbooks. I grabbed that one! It lasted for more than a year, off and on, and paid pretty well (including a seemingly endless supply of guest cards for free meals at any of their steakhouses). It wasn’t enough to fatten up my bank account in a significant way, but I saved a bundle on groceries and ate very, very well! (I recommend getting the family-size carryout meals… you can eat well for a week!)

I finally got a part-time job in aviation because of my experience with (and almost a dozen recommendations from former coworkers at) my most recent job. Unfortunately, the guy left some important details out of the job description… like that he was hiring me to replace his wife in her favorite part of her job so she could work full time as the company treasurer. She did everything she could (subtly, of course) to make it impossible for me to do what I was hired to do. We parted company (by mutual consent). Poor guy had no clue that his wife did not want to be the treasurer. She definitely wanted my job though.

He laid me off so I could collect unemployment… then we signed a contract (and he gave me a hefty advance) to edit a training manual he had been trying to write for twenty years. When I sent him the first batch of edits, he decided he hated his own writing and was going to either ditch the project or start over. I haven’t heard from him since! Used the advance to get new brakes on the car. It was worth the hassle. Almost.
~~~~~
This was all going on in central California, after fulfilling a long-time dream to move home again. When I started meeting people, I learned I wasn’t alone in my overqualified classification. In 2006-2007, I met dozens of people who had followed all the rules for being successful—college degrees, experience in their professions, good work records. Some were working, but instead of well-paid professional jobs, they had a friend who had an inside contact who got them in for an interview. They got jobs… as cashiers in hardware or drug stores. One was working in a rubber stamp company, and not in the office! The temporary manager of my apartment complex had been looking for a full-time permanent job for three or four years.

What do you do when you get kicked into the gutter, discarded because of your qualifications; when you lose hope and reach the point of desperation? There are millions of us today in the same situation.

Here’s what I did. At my lowest point, I logged in to my alma mater’s networking site, shot off an email to a guy in the publishing business, who referred me to a friend of his who could probably help me better than he could, he said.

His friend did help. He delivered a swift (if virtual) kick in the backside. I deserved it; my email had made my fear, feelings of desperation, and… admittedly… self-pity, pretty obvious. I deserved his harsh reminder that feeling sorry for myself would not solve my problems. In a nutshell, he told me to figure out my strengths then get busy figuring out how to put them to good use to earn some money. Be a consultant, be a freelance writer, design Web sites… search the internet for ways to find work. Just keep moving forward and believing in myself.

Some of you have already figured that out. But too many don’t know how to begin, or don’t yet realize how many skills and abilities they've acquired in their lifetimes. Time to find out!

Four and a half years later, I’ve gained new skills and most importantly, have learned how to begin earning some money from them. I ain’t getting rich yet, but I have some steady income other than a Social Security check and modest pension. When I knew I couldn’t make it any longer in California without going on welfare, I returned to Ohio to do some serious work.

I joined free Web sites and writers’ forums where I could post articles and have them critiqued by other writers. Other than journals, creative letters and emails to friends, and my own ramblings, my primary writing experience was in designing and developing computer and software instructional stuff. Figured that wouldn’t sell too well to the general public. The writers’ Web sites and forums helped me learn what else not to write! 

And I signed up on several freelance sites and worked with clients all over the planet, until the world-wide recession made fair pay a thing of the past. Clients stopped caring about (and being willing to pay for) quality and settled for the lowest bid. They were, I heard from a few of them, usually disappointed… but still weren’t willing to pay for higher quality work. I moved on.

I learned to be a print-on-demand publisher and set up my virtual shop. I took a proofreading course online—I love to edit, though I have no desire to be a proofreader, as traditional publishers define the job! Then, not having anything better to do, I developed my skills in designing and formatting book interiors. Wrote and published my memoir. Solicited editing and formatting work from everyone I ran into.

It takes time and tenacity to see results. Now, into my fourth year of freelancing, it’s beginning to pay off. And my first new steady client is the same guy that gave me the swift kick in the butt that got me started. He has also been my writing mentor and good friend. Dr. Woody Sears is an expatriate expert in Human Resource Development, and lives in Lithuania. We’ve never met in person and maybe never will. I love the world-wide contact today's technology gives me!

In conclusion… 
  • If you’re still struggling to find a place in our broken economy… 
  • If you haven’t been able to get a job because you’re too skilled…
  • If no one will hire you because you’re now considered too old (a year or two ago, most employers set the age limit at forty for most jobs)… 
  • And if you aren’t already working (the newest twist: many employers won’t hire anyone who doesn’t already have a job. You have to be changing jobs, not trying to get back to work again. How awful is that, with so many highly qualified unemployed people trying so hard to find work?)
allow me to help you out with my own swift kick in the back side, and these suggestions. Assess your skills and experience. Write ‘em down. And write down the gaps… the “if I only knew how to..” stuff. Use the resources available online or in the local library to learn whatever you think will close the gaps. Some of it might cost you, but before you pay, see what you can find for free.

Read and learn. If you don’t have an ebook reader, go to the Kindle Store on Amazon and download their free “Kindle for PC” software. Then you can buy as many books as you want, at low prices, on any subject that will help.

Write down every idea you get about how to put your skills to work. Then get back on the internet and look for opportunities—real ones, not stuffing envelopes or getting paid to shop at your favorite stores. Don’t get trapped in those “earn money while you sleep” scams. It will cost you to find out how it works, learn new skills you never wanted, then use them to do stuff you hate, and you may never earn a dime for your efforts! I know somebody who actually tried it… and lost! She’s finally given up (I hope) on the too-good-to-be true “jobs” and works part-time in an office instead.

Is there something you’re passionate about, something you already know how to do and love doing, or maybe something you’ve always wanted to learn to do. Go with your passions and, if you have no passions, go with your interests and learn how to put them to work.

Success is not guaranteed? Hardly! With luck, determination, and lots of work, you will begin to succeed. Some things you try will fail. Just forget about it and keep working at finding your niche. Learn to be patient. Starting anything new takes a while, so don’t expect instant results. Just stick with it.

One big payoff: if and when you succeed, nobody will be able to fire you or lay you off if you own the company! Another payoff, possibly the most important: you will slowly become aware that, having made it past the inevitable hurdles, your self-esteem is returning and the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are slowly fading into the past. Because you’ve taken your fate and your future into your own hands and are working toward something important: surviving and thriving.

Am I thriving? Not really, not yet. But every day brings me a few steps closer, brings me a few more dollars to stash away or spend. Every new client, every new project, encourages me to keep on keepin on! Don’t give up on me, not while my heart is still beating. 

And please! Never give up on yourself.